kayla

Last month, I turned 25. It was a birthday I dreaded. Twenty-five just seems, well, old (sorry even-older friends of mine!). The day before my birthday, I began imagining the inevitable barrage of “Happy birthday!” Facebook posts. Let’s be honest. At this point, they’re near meaningless. It starts to feel like you’re battling a swam of evil doing notifications that are happily reminding you of your newfound oldness.

But at the same time, I love hearing from my friends, and I love that they take even 1.2 seconds to wish me a happy birthday. So, this year, I decided to spice things up a bit. I wanted to make my Facebook birthday fun for me, and even more fun for my friends.

I asked them to wish me a happy birthday through videos instead.

Trust me, you have to try it. Next time you have a birthday, ask everyone the day beforehand to submit videos instead of text posts. The videos can be simple or elaborate. Just let ‘em know you want to see their awesome faces.

It’s turned out to be the coolest thing that’s happened to me online, and I’ll definitely ask again next year. I was surprised by how many responses I got — some fun and creative, some simple and sweet. I was also surprised by who participated. My usual crowd of friends came through in fine style, but some pals I don’t speak to frequently joined in on the mayhem, too. I even managed to snag a video from a friend who originally found me on Tumblr, and we’d never even met up in person. The videos were better than any gift (yep, even better than wine), and now, thanks to Facebook’s Timeline, I have them around in true scrapbook fashion.

So, if you’re in the market for an easy way to engage your friends online, or if you just want to do something a little special for your big day, go video.

photo via tumblr

Every so often, someone asks me how they can get people to “talk” back to them online. Unfortunately, that’s not something you’re going to be able to accomplish if you haven’t built up a good community yet. By now, everyone knows that the key to social media is sharing useful items (whatever that may be) while also injecting your personality and viewpoints into your text. But even that has limits. I don’t really care if you just brushed your teeth. But maybe I would care if you’re using an awesome toothpaste, or if you laughed while brushing and accidentally snorted Crest out of your nose. See, those things make me smile, and they’re still uniquely you.

I use a method I internally call “Asking.” Yes, I’m superiorly creative with internal naming. Anyhow, I’ve made a decision not to just live my life. Instead, I ask my community for next steps. For example, if I’m making a new Spotify playlist, why just limit it to my own musical tastes? That’s lame and boring, and why would anyone want to subscribe? Instead, I ask. Suddenly, I’m not just building out a playlist, but I’m engaging my followers, getting to know them better, and even getting introduced to some new tunes in the process.

I take asking very seriously, and I’m always looking for suggestions from my followers. I take their opinions seriously as well by incorporating them as much as possible. This may seem like I’m completely shelling out my own personality in favor of what other people want me to do, but I feel very differently. Instead, I’ve been able to spark up some genuine friendships (I’m looking at you, G+ followers), and have also been able to break out of my own habits by doing things I wouldn’t even think of doing previously.

So, before you head to a friend’s party, ask what you should bring as a gift. Or maybe even ask what colors you should wear. Thinking of dying your hair? Take a poll. Going on a date? Ask for suggestions, or ask for mobile phone etiquette tips. Basically, just ask. Trust me, your followers will have lots of opinions to share. And you’ll love it.

photo via tumblr

I love the Internet, and I especially love the connections (and connectedness) it brings. Because of my job, I’m often online pretty much all day. And you can connect with me in a myriad of ways — just choose the one you like best. Maybe you send Facebook messages, or maybe Twitter’s your thing. Or maybe you kick it old school and send e-mails. Or maybe you like making phone calls, or using iChat. The point is, if you’ve got a preference, you can reach me through it.

This was fine for a while. I’ve been “connected” through all of these channels for a long time, but lately, it seems, demand for my attention has gone up. I realize this is partly my own fault. I try to be as available as possible, and holy moly I’m on a lot of social media outlets. I also want these connections. I genuinely enjoy networking and meeting new people online. I’m a community manager at heart. I love, love, love building and interacting with digital communities.

But the tide is changing. I’ve noticed a trend where people become very impatient or angry with me if I don’t respond to them immediately. It seems to be a more recent change, and I’m not entirely sure what’s caused it. But it’s taking its toll on both me and my friends (both digital and IRL ones).

I hit a breaking point this past weekend when an acquaintance of mine (we’ll call him Todd) sent me a Facebook message. Here’s some background: I’m always online, on everything, all the time. I have no real need to log out. So, he sees me online, shoots me a message. In that particular moment, I was pulling double duty by being on a date and editing a blog post. (For the record, the date-ee didn’t seem to mind a bit though. He gets my life.)

So, Todd sends me a message discussing his recent trip to New York, which ended badly because it involved a girl (those women!). I’m not sure exactly why he wanted to tell me. We don’t talk often. But I suppose he considers me someone he can confide in (I’m good at giving honest, realistic advice). My answers were one-offs, admittedly. I was attempting to show him I was paying attention, which I was, but I was too consumed by my other activities to sit there and give him a full psychoanalysis of his situation.

And he became mad at me. The conversation:

Todd: I really don’t see the need for all these short answers.
K: Sorry, I’m up to something.
T: You’re always like that though. Quit it, or take the amount of time it took to write 2 of the short answers to actually write something worth conversing about.
K: Sorry. I just really hate typing conversations. (Note: This is truth. Best way to talk to me? Face to face.)
T: You know that’s not true, Kayla.
K: Dude, I have a lot of shit going on. Sorry I can’t respond to your FB messages fast enough.

Clearly, I was frustrated. At the time of his message, I had a Twitter DM conversation to attend to, work emails to respond to, and a whole host of notifications in various places to check. Not to mention I had a nice guy attempting to not burn a steak for me. (He ultimately did, by the way. Presh.)

The problem ultimately comes down to our expecting one another to be available the moment we decide we need them, something I’m guilty of, too. Why would someone expect another person to immediately devote her time to their problems, simply because a little green circle says she’s around?

What are the social concerns here? Do I get more time if it’s an email? How about a text? Or a Twitter @-reply? I’m beginning to think the window is 5 minutes, regardless of the medium.

I love y’all, but sometimes I really want to tune you all out and turn everything off.

In a class recently, I discussed my super dorky experience of learning how to write online — through an RPG forum. But there’s a bit more to the story that had me thinking. So, here goes.

The person I interacted with most in the forum was this character named Eric. He was supposed to be a British overlord. The character was book-smart and witty, as well as temperamental. His character and mine were what I’d consider “frenemies.” They interacted daily and were fond of each other, though they disagreed often and even went to war with one another once. (Yeeeeeeaaah I’m weird.)

After interacting with one another for what must’ve been nearly a year, Eric’s “owner” and I finally introduced our real selves to each other. Eric was “really” Amy, a Canadian only a couple years older than me. I remember feeling weird learning about who I’d been talking to the entire time. At that point, I felt like Eric was one of my closest friends. It took each of us about a week or so to finally get over the initial awkwardness of the veil lifting.

But, of course, things change and so do passions. After a while, both Amy and I grew tired of the forum, and we both teetered off our time there. Eventually, I stopped returning completely, moving on to high school theatre and other “real life” activities.

But a couple of years ago I was thinking about my experiences on the forum, and I started to wonder whatever happened to Amy. Thanks to Google, I creepily typed in her name and her character’s name, and I quickly stumbled upon a blog she’d been keeping. At the risk of being stalker of the century, I emailed her. She responded enthusiastically, saying she’d always wondered what had happened to me. We emailed back and forth a couple of times, but it was clear we weren’t really connecting. The thing is, Kayla and Amy were never friends. Eric and Lykan were. I have no doubt that if we would have emailed each other as our characters, the conversation would have absolutely continued. But it didn’t.

It’s all about the space you’re in.

The other day I got an e-mail from a friend of a friend who’s currently doing research on self-branding. My friend Margaret had referred her to me because Margaret thinks I’m some sort of major expert at it. I’m not. That’s reality.

But I am super aware of how I communicate with others online, especially when it comes to ensuring that I use a certain look and feel all the way across my digital spaces. Her questions made me really self-reflexive about identity online. I’m posting my own responses to her questions, but I’d really love to read your answers. (Nerd admission: I’m totally telling the truth!)

1. So, you have been working on your self brand for quite some years. What made you start this process?

When I was in middle school, I considered myself a bit of a loner. I enjoyed being online and chatting with digital friends, especially on forums (used to be super cool back then). So, I was really aware of portraying myself online. I was also really interested in writing (through blogs and fan fiction), and would work extra hard to get my friends to read my stuff. I became really interested in web design, being sure that the aesthetic was representative of whatever I was trying to convey in whichever space I was in. Once social media became a more legitimate force, I hopped on board.

2. How has your brand evolved since the start?  

I realized that the best way to build a community was by having specific missions for each digital channel. But having specific missions also worried me because I was afraid my “brand” would become lost or muddled in the mix. I realized that it would be extremely important to ensure that, no matter which space I was in, someone would know I was distinctly Kayla. This included me having a recognizable brand “look,” like with color palettes and images, as well as a characteristic voice. My evolution has really been me realizing the potential of each audience, and how important it is to have a meta-awareness of what I’m doing online.

My brand has become much more refined through the years. My personality is more extreme, which helps me in being identifiable. I’ve even branded some of my favorite followers and fans, by calling them Kreepers. On occasion, they’ll even refer to themselves that way — a sign, to me, that it’s working.

3. In your previous e-mail, you described self-branding as an art form. Part of my research is analyzing the debate on self-branding: whether it’s a positive, self-identifying process that will help individuals network themselves and boost their careers vs. self branding as a negative, narcissistic, self-involved process that takes away from one’s work ethic. Do you have any thoughts on that? 

I’ve got a ton of thoughts on this. Self-branding has parts of both, quite frankly. You have to be self-involved and even a bit narcissistic, as you’ve got to be able to play up whatever talents or good parts you have (which requires spending time figuring out what those things are). But I think the benefits far outweigh the bad, though. For one, I’m much more in tune with myself than I’ve ever been, which is extremely beneficial in my personal life. Margaret, for one, is explaining that she feels like I know exactly who I am, and she’s probably right… Mostly because of how much time I’ve invested to get to that point. I know precisely how I should say things, why, and when. It sounds uber strategic, and it is, but I don’t consider that a bad thing. It’s helped me sort out what truly makes me “me,” so when I do things that are out-of-place, I can reanalyze my life and say, “Kayla, you’re not being yourself right now. Change directions!” It keeps me in check and balanced.

I also can’t say enough about how many opportunities I’ve gotten because of my emphasis on branding. This email, for one example. Recently I was contacted by someone extra awesome (who’ll remain nameless), asking me for advice on how to engage online appropriately. Partly, I’m sure, because I’m relatively memorable, thanks in part to staying consistent and branded.

4. Part of my research also involves looking into self-identity: what makes us who we are and how do we realize who we are? What forms our identity? (Gender, race, social class.) And how do we construct our identity? (Social groups we belong to, our own interpretation of ourselves.) Then, I’m looking into how self-branding reflects that. Is self-branding a true reflection of who we are? So my question for you is: through your self-branding process, do you feel you accurately portray who you are? Do you feel pressure to only portray an idealized version of yourself? 

This is an excellent question, and one I really do struggle with. I fully believe that we never represent ourselves accurately online. For example, even though my branding is consistent (colors, “voice,” etc.), I show different social media channels different sides of me. So, Twitter gets a lot of business-y tweets. Google+ sees my creative side. And so on and so forth. There’s a common thread running through them, and that’s ultimately my personality.

I take on a very in-your-face, Texan voice in all of my roles. It’s one I’ve exaggerated greatly over the years. It’s pretty representative of me, though, and I know my friends would agree. But I think this is only because I’ve been shaped by my own branding decisions. But I’m always restructuring and playing with my image online, and pressure definitely plays into that. I begin to feel that certain things are expected of me from my community, which then makes it difficult for me to step away from that and change. I realize, more than anything, that what I do takes a ton of time and dedication, and that it really isn’t for everyone. But everyone is still branding themselves even if they’re not aware of it. Each time you post on Facebook, you make a decision about what that says about you — if it’s appropriate, who you want to see it, etc. This is all branding, even if at a much more minor scale.

So just in summary, self-branding definitely isn’t an accurate representation of the person behind it. It’s a consciously analyzed version of ourselves — the best part of us, whatever the aim of that “best” is.

So, what are y’all’s thoughts? Do you consider yourself a “brand?”

photo via Tumblr

You might be aware that I’m a social media addict. I don’t just tell people how to use spaces — I use them every day and totally love it. I love building communities more than anything, and I truly value the interactions I have in each social media channel I’m on.

Last week, during a chat with one of my digital friends on Google+, we discussed how difficult it’s been for me to find a new job as a community manager. Being the very nice guy that he is, he explained to me that, when he sees my profile, he doesn’t really think of me as someone who’s really invested in the lifestyle. He made comparisons to Scoble and others. Though I certainly knew he was only trying to be helpful, I couldn’t help but become defensive.

For one thing, I’ve managed to somehow cultivate a great little following of “Kreepers” on G+. I really dig these followers, and I’ve already built up a reputation there of the sorts of things I share. What was even more distressing to me is that I consider G+ one of my few spaces where I can “play.”

Scoble, for example, is social media/work/tech nonstop in every single channel he’s in. It’s overwhelming, and it gets a little boring and repetitive (and I say this as someone who has an extreme amount of respect for him).

But I consider myself to be more than my job. For one thing, I love to be funny and ridiculous. This is just who I am, and I’m unwilling to give that part of me up, even if it makes me less respectable. (This is why Randi Zuckerberg and her notorious personality are so inspirational to me.)

But he explained that it might be more valuable to share professional opinions if I want to get further in this industry. And of course he’s right. So, where does the line get drawn?

How much of yourself do you have to give up online? How much do you have to prove yourself in social media spaces?

photo via Kerosene Kate

Today I had the opportunity to speak with an ASU undergraduate class about social media. I sometimes find it a little frustrating to talk to students about sites like Facebook, as they often feel that they’ve seen it all and done it all. It’s understandable, especially since we all invest so much of our personal time into social channels. But there’s a big difference from using Facebook and truly understanding how to market oneself or one’s organization on Facebook.

I asked them to explain what kinds of posts they like to see online. I got a whole host of nods when I mentioned things like YouTube videos of pets, great news stories, and funny pictures of their friends. Naturally. When we log on to Facebook, we want to be entertained, and we want to feel happy. No one logs in with a goal to start his or her day off with a smattering of depressing statistics.

This is important to keep in mind when developing your organization’s social media presence. Many nonprofits, in particular, deal with particularly bleak causes, but the difference between a successful social nonprofit and an unsuccessful one is its ability to tap into something that moves us and makes us want to spread the message.

During the presentation, I shared my very favorite viral video. The video comes from Mama Hope, a 501(c)(3) that works to help African communities become self-sustaining. Doesn’t seem like a cause that lends itself to much humor, right? And the organization could very easily traipse into uber-depressing territory. But with this video, it didn’t go there at all. In fact, the organization works to fight against the very stereotypes it could have fallen victim to.

Get a glimpse of what I mean by checking out the video below. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be itching to share it as soon as you’re done.

Reality: I think your cause is awesome. In fact, I think your cause is fantastic. You want to help the homeless? Me too! Rescue dogs? Me too! Make sure everyone has access to clean water? I’m on board!

Other reality: I don’t have the time or money for your cause.

One more reality: I still want to help.

I know a lot of people who understand my plight. I’m a grad student, after all! And being a grad student means I’ve got more than a few limitations, economically speaking. So, how do you, as a nonprofit organization, get me to help you?

Jump head-first into the world of microgiving.

Microgiving is when a person donates small, seemingly insignificant amounts of money to a cause or a nonprofit. And it’s exploding in popularity, especially with our increasingly digital lifestyles. Many microgiving websites make it outrageously simple to donate, and with mobile giving on the rise, we can definitely expect an increase in the number of smaller donations.

I had a chance to chat with Leo Ramirez, President, CEO, and Co-Founder of MiniDonations, and he summed it up excellently: “When compounded, small donations of one’s time, talent, and treasure can profoundly impact our world. Not only are these gifts more accessible — regardless of age or income — they’re habit-forming: transforming a small giver today into a major donor tomorrow.”

In other words, it’s worth your time to get into the microgiving spirit. And there are lots of ways to approach it. What makes microgiving so neat is how creative some of the organizations have gotten with it. Below are a few of my favorite microgiving options — some your organization can use, some you can be inspired by, and some you can donate to yourself. So, go ahead – think small!

For your organization

Got a birthday coming up? Ask your friends to donate to your very own fundraiser! Crowdrise is a personal fundraising site where you can ask for monetary support on just about anything. It leverages the power of the people, turning volunteers into fundraisers. It takes only minutes to get going on the site, and there are several different options to get potential donors interested, including contests. Trust me, you don’t need another tie or a DVD. So, set up a birthday fund to give right back to your wonderful cause! (And your friends will appreciate not having to worry about what size t-shirt you wear.)

Remember those bank advertisements that explained how each time you made a purchase, they’d round it up to the nearest dollar and put it into savings? What if potential donors could do that for your organization?MiniDonations partners nonprofits with businesses to do just that. Each time a donor makes a purchase at a participating business, the rounded-up change goes to the nonprofit of his or her choice. While MiniDonations is a newer kid on the scene, they’re quickly adding new businesses into the mix. Donors also get special giving pages, so they can show off which causes and nonprofits are most important to them. (Click here to check out Leo’s profile.) Finally, all those loose pennies and nickels can make a big difference.

For inspiration

It wouldn’t be a post about microgiving without a shoutout to Kickstarter. If you’re unfamiliar with the site, it’s a place for start-ups, artists, and local organizations to promote specific projects in order to receive funding. Giving is tiered — depending on how much a person donates, he or she will receive something in return. The bigger the donation, the bigger the reward.

Kickstarter is a major player because of how it operates. As a donor, I can easily share the project with my friends via social media, I can receive updates from the project creator, and I can track the overall success of the project I’ve helped fund. These are tactics you can use when your organization needs to leverage more donors. Choose specific projects, and make a webpage that tells everyone how the project is going. Kickstarter works best through story-telling, so find a way to make your project’s story personal and meaningful to each and every donor, no matter the size of his or her contribution. Your fans will love it, and they’ll be sure to keep coming back for more of the philanthropic warm-n-fuzzies.

For those days when you’re feeling give-y

Have an iPhone? Download Snooze. The app, which is owned by LetGive, lets you donate a quarter to an affiliated nonprofit each time you ask for a few more minutes of shut eye. Oh, and did I mention that it’s free to download? Finally, there’s a good reason to sleep in!

Want to give something other than cash? Try Sparked.com, a microvolunteering website where you can fill out a profile with all of your talents and choose your favorite causes. Once you do that, you get a list of “challenges” to choose from, which are basically just needs that nonprofits have. For example, I entered “social media” and “blogging” on my profile, and Sparked.com paired me with a challenge from an organization asking for bloggers to write about diversity. Microvolunteering is a fantastic way to offer your skills to needy nonprofits without having to be at a certain place at a certain time.

If you attended the Center’s Spring Forum earlier this year, you might remember keynote speaker Charles Best, Founder and CEO ofDonorsChoose.org. His site allows you to give small amounts to local schools in order to fund specific projects. You can browse through the many projects by subject, location, or need. What makes DonorsChoose.org so special is the follow up. Each classroom teacher sends updates about their project and writes special thank you notes for your support. One more example of how important it is to remember that, no matter how small the donation, each and every donor is important. (Psst! Take a look at all the wonderful Arizona projects that need your help!)

What are your favorite ways to microgive? I’d love to hear about them!

Recently, my boss wrote a post on my work blog calling for Content Curators. He makes a decent case, and I can understand why he makes it. He’s not particularly tech savvy (at least to the level that I consider to be savviness), so he wants something that goes beyond what he considers a “simple” aggregated list and something more comprehensive, curating knowledge and sharing new thoughts instead of cultivating lists of information.

Of course, those of us who are addicted to social media know what content curators are. Most of the people I have in my G+ circles are curators. They find information and links related to their very specific interests and post them on their streams along with their own thoughts on the matter. I read fantastic stuff from curators all day long. They may not be completely aware there’s a buzzwordy name attached to what they’re doing, but they’re doing it all the same.

My issue with his call is that we don’t need more content curators. Of course, it’s great if more people move beyond “sharing” and into “sharing and generating,” but it’s not a complete necessity at this point.

What we need are places to find the best curators.

In my experiences using G+, I’ve had to scour my friends’ circles to find people related to what I want to know. There have been several gems, and they were worth all the effort it took to find them. But wouldn’t it be fantastic to have more sites that curate the curators? People dedicated to finding the best curators out there?

In you’re a nonprofit person, there’s one resource I suggest taking a gander at: Cause+. This site has the potential to be really fantastic, but it’s so bare bones right now that it’s hard to tell if the site creators are going to invest the time needed to make it exceedingly superb. As it stands now, Cause+ is just a simple list that anyone can add their information to. But it could have small summaries created by the site owners and even blog posts talking about their favorite curation techniques and the best sites to go to for particular kinds of activities.

What I’m saying is, let’s focus our efforts on making a Dewey Decimal System of nonprofit social media curators. That’s something we could all use.